Wednesday, August 09, 2006
How are you supposed to feel when somone dissapoint you, not only once, but a couple of times? Let it be and forget bout' it? Be strong? Act as if nothin' happened? Iam juz so sicked and tired of things around me! SHIT HAPPENS everywhere.. I think Iam aimless, don't know which direction Iam goin', lonely, lost...everythin' anyone can think of..Iam gonna get through all these and get my life back, do things the way I used to, leavin' the problems behind... Memories remain in my crib.
And so it is juz like you,
said it would be me,
Life goes easy on her,
most of the time.
And so it is the shorter story.
No love, No Glory...
No hero in her sky. ell, had a kinda nice weekend out in The Deen in Northbridge. Went with Ads, Steph and Kok. As usual, gotten quite tipsy after a couple of drink thanx to Ads.. She showed her shuffle for the 1st time... but this comin' weekend will be in the main dance floor of The Deen, RnB.. nowadays, takin' life really lightly.. don't really care whats really happenin' around me. I realize the more you take it hard, the more stress and more problems will come. Furthermore, doin' 5 units this semester, Iam not gonna put myself in the position where I can't take it, like couple of months ago.At times, memories still haunts me...but I can't really do anythin' bout' it. Juz gotta get through with it. That's life.. Till then..gonna start studyin soon...
Well, its been a year since I went to Margaeux.. Had a couple of drinks with 2 of my friends...gotten quite tipsy..tried new drink as well Yega Bomb, I think it's called.. Thikin' wat shall we do this comin' weekend.. Till then..
Well, it has been quite awhile since I blog.. Juz got my results today, and I cleared the deffered paper.. It's amazin' how important ur internal marks is.. Things for me are still not that good, but Iam leavin' everythin' behind me for the 1st time.. I have much more important things in my life that I needa achieve. Complete my studies, doin 5 accounting units this semester, savin' up money for car stereo, gonna cost me 1.7G for 2 subs, 1 amp, and a headunit as well, but if I do have extra money, gonna custom make it if I do keep my car for a long term, but I do wanna change to BMW 91-96 model...hahaha and needa get my PR procedure ready.. Till then..
Well, its been almost a week that everythin' in my life was messed up and Iam still struglin' to fight. It's kinda hard to accept when things aren't goin' ur way..One by one starts to stuffed up. At times, I gave up everythin', coz' I juz can't face it...Is HE next to me when Iam down, when everythin' seems to be dark in my life, is HE gonna hold my hand when I reach out... Please help and take care of every single thin' in my life..I think Iam back to my old self..isolatin' myself from everythin' around me.. Till then...
The hardest part was lettin' go...NOT takin' part in it
What am I suppose to do? Lost and the end of the road for me... Am I confused? or juz don't wanna face the reality? I juz wanna get over with all these problems rite now... every single things gets on my nerve. Keep tellin' myself that it's juz part of one's life.., but rite now, I don't think it's part of ones. Everythin' seems to be messed up and not in my way, not at all. When will it stop and be normal again? I juz don't know where to start to solve them. Shuttin' everythin' that comes in my way.
What is the meanin' of betrayed? To divulge in a breach of confidence, reavealin' a secret. That was what Iam feelin' now.. Yesterday was the hardest day for me to face... Feelin' betrayed from the person I love most, and care most. That was the last person I expected to betray me. Gave the person so much trust, which I know that I could do that. I was wrong bout' it.. Feelin' so down, and I can't even focus on what Iam suppose to do. Why would the person betray me? Should I confront the person? But if I confront, it may make things worse.. What am I suppose to do?The feelin' is so SHIT in me now... Seriously, that was the last person I expected. Trustin' so much... But I can't do anythin' now... Am I the person who easily gives trust to a person? But I've known the person for quite some time... Will I be able to trust the person again? I would love to trust in that person again, lovin' and care so much..but can I? Facin' so much of things now, includin' family issues.Damn it... Iam gonna let everythin' go...Losin' that person in my trust, I can't do anythin'. Iam juz pissed, coz' that person neva tell me when I asked, sayin' NO to me..but I found out yesterday.If that person wants my trust again, she will come back and tell me bout' everythin'.
Well, I juz finished my deferred paper today...and it was a bad day for me the day before.. I had to rush to my restaurant as the chef ran off, didn't tell us...was kinda pissed, and my parents was kinda stress...I had not enough time to study for the paper...but I tried my best...and the next semester gonna be tough for me as Iam overloadin' wit 5 units...and my housemate told me that, that's the recipe to fail...hahhaa....well, hopefully I can, coz' Iam not doin' it alone, but wit HIM..Anyway, Iam still waitin' for God's direction of what should I do next, in my life...in the comin' future..Perth of Sydney?Still confuse bout' lots of things..I wonder when will I get everythin' sorted...My feelings are still strong... but well for now, I juz wanna get myself busy, so I'll have no time for me to think bout' it..till then..It's Sunday...and not feelin' too good bout' every single thing..Don't even know where do I stand.. Why am I feelin' this way? It's been almost a month, and Iam still hangin' with it.. Is it coz' I still have somethin' left for that someone? I think it is...Everythin' juz stops here...How nice it is if time stops and stays the way it is...At that point of time, I feel so comfortable, feelin' so sure bout' everythin' when Iam with that person. When I see that person, everythin' around me doesn't matter, it's like everythin' so perfect...But now, Iam so tired of everythin', physically, mentally and spiritually...when is it gonna stop, and be myself again?When is it gonna happen?My love, my feelings, my care...all stays the same...
Baby won't you tell me why there is sadness in your eyesI don't wanna say goodbye to youLove is one big illusion I should try to forgetBut there is something left in my head
You're the one who set it up now you're the one to make it stopI'm the one who's feeling lost right nowNow you want me to forget every little thing you saidBut there is something left in my headI won't forget the way you're kissingThe feeling so strongWere lasting for so longBut I'm not the man your heart is missingThat's why you go away I know
You were never satisfied no matter how I triedNow you wanna say goodbye to meLove is one big illusion I should try to forgetBut there is something left in my head
I won't forget the way you're kissingThe feeling's so strongWere lasting for so longBut I'm not the man your heart is missingThat's why you go away I know
Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhereDon't know which way to goThere ain't so much to say now between usThere ain't so much for youThere ain't so much for me any
I won't forget the way you're kissingThe feeling's so strongWere lasting for so longBut I'm not the man your heart is missingThat's why you go away I know It seems the minutes,hours and days moves so slow to me nowadays..
It seems 2 minutes, like 2 hours..
It seems 2 hours, like 2 days.. [†β₤o0D†]
It seems 2 days, like 2 months..
It seems 2 months, like 2 years..But it seeems like 2 months, was so short..everythin' is still fresh in me..tryin' to get myself busy and very tired, so I would not think bout' it. How can I start a new life? Start fresh? I was juz thinkin' bout' movin' to Sydney end of this year, if my Sis is still there..at least when Iam with her, Iam happie...No worries... Whenever, I comes back home late at night, the memories are back to haunt me..What did I do, that I deserve all this? My history?My past? Karma?At times, if I know that all these things will happen...I would not even take the chance now, riskin' the friendship.. Can't anyone tell me what's goin' on? Well, I don't even know when will everythin' be normal for me..Have I decided or have I not? The famous phrase, "If you love a person, let the person go..If it's yours, the person will come back by your side" Is it true? Well, only time will tell..Till then
You are far
When I could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death
And from my heart
Strange that you were strong enough
To even make a start
You'll never find
Peace of mind
Till you listen to your heart
People
You can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will
For they willIf you let them
Steal your heart from you
People
Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew I loved you
We could have shown them all
We should have seen love through
Fooled me with the tears in your eyes
Covered me with kisses and lies
So bye
But please don't take my heart
You are far
I'm never gonna be your star
I'll pick up the pieces
To mend my heart
Strange that I was wrong enough
To think you'd love me too
You must have been kissing a fool
I said you must have been kissing a fool
But remember this
Every other kiss
That you'll ever give
Long as we both live
When you need the hand of another man
One you really can surrender with
I will wait for you like I always do
There's something there
That can't compare with any other
You are far
When I could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death
And from my heart
Strange that I was wrong enough
To think you'd love me too
You must have been kissing a fool
You must have been kissing a fool
You must have been kissing a fool
- m. buble - Sandra Kevin - Shoppin' Spree
It's juz amazing that somone like me will go for SHOPPING Therapy..! :)
Maybe that's what I deserved since there's so many things have been goin around me..IN and OUT!
But, try to think bout' it, the next day problems and worries comes back into my head..so when can I actually let everythin' go? How am I to feel bout' everythin'? Pains, Hurts? Can't even feel anything'..seems that its numb in me..all stagnant..not movin'.
Came across this quote, and is it that TRUE?
“I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do...I'm sorry I can't help myself, I'm in love with you.”
Its the best dream that I have ever dreamt. How I wish that all these things that I've dreamt will come true one day! It's so hard for me to juz leave everthin behind me. Maybe I juz don't wanna do it...Is it coz Iam juz too stuborn?Juz can't control the way I feel?Emotional?hmm...well I myself don't know.It seems everythin is normal..talkin and lookin at pictures..its all memories..When I wake up, I have to face the reality..But deep in me, hope that it will come again one day. God, please help me to get through this tough time. But then again, its the matter of time and patience, if it ever comes true.Memories are always there, and thinkin bout' it, at times, it hurts, and bring back my smile. All I wanna do and see, is the same smile I used to see, the happiest moment between 2 parties. Till then...
Juz checked my results...and I cleared all 3 papers, but I have 1 paper this Tuesday, as I deffered it. Didn't expect that I would clear 1 of the paper, coz it was tough for me when I was doin all the papers, and had so many issues in my life which was in my mind. But I guess, its God's grace...So juz another paper I have to hammer for this TUESDAY! and next semester would be 5 units...and off I go from Curtin.But I was juz thinkin bout my life juz then, where should I settle down after i Grad..Perth or Sydney...tho I really do love Perth...but when I went to Sydney, it seems like I wanna start a brand new life there, and leave all the problems I have in Perth... Iam really confuse with everythin in my life now....arghhh..!Do wanna share all these ups and downs with someone, but I know that I can neva do that again...all I can do now is juz to keep all those within myself..like how I did last time. Juz live my life each and everyday, but this time, together with HIM. †β₤o0D†
And so it is juz like you,
said it would be me,
Life goes easy on her,
most of the time.
And so it is the shorter story.
No love, No Glory...
No hero in her sky. ell, had a kinda nice weekend out in The Deen in Northbridge. Went with Ads, Steph and Kok. As usual, gotten quite tipsy after a couple of drink thanx to Ads.. She showed her shuffle for the 1st time... but this comin' weekend will be in the main dance floor of The Deen, RnB.. nowadays, takin' life really lightly.. don't really care whats really happenin' around me. I realize the more you take it hard, the more stress and more problems will come. Furthermore, doin' 5 units this semester, Iam not gonna put myself in the position where I can't take it, like couple of months ago.At times, memories still haunts me...but I can't really do anythin' bout' it. Juz gotta get through with it. That's life.. Till then..gonna start studyin soon...
Well, its been a year since I went to Margaeux.. Had a couple of drinks with 2 of my friends...gotten quite tipsy..tried new drink as well Yega Bomb, I think it's called.. Thikin' wat shall we do this comin' weekend.. Till then..
Well, it has been quite awhile since I blog.. Juz got my results today, and I cleared the deffered paper.. It's amazin' how important ur internal marks is.. Things for me are still not that good, but Iam leavin' everythin' behind me for the 1st time.. I have much more important things in my life that I needa achieve. Complete my studies, doin 5 accounting units this semester, savin' up money for car stereo, gonna cost me 1.7G for 2 subs, 1 amp, and a headunit as well, but if I do have extra money, gonna custom make it if I do keep my car for a long term, but I do wanna change to BMW 91-96 model...hahaha and needa get my PR procedure ready.. Till then..
Well, its been almost a week that everythin' in my life was messed up and Iam still struglin' to fight. It's kinda hard to accept when things aren't goin' ur way..One by one starts to stuffed up. At times, I gave up everythin', coz' I juz can't face it...Is HE next to me when Iam down, when everythin' seems to be dark in my life, is HE gonna hold my hand when I reach out... Please help and take care of every single thin' in my life..I think Iam back to my old self..isolatin' myself from everythin' around me.. Till then...
The hardest part was lettin' go...NOT takin' part in it
What am I suppose to do? Lost and the end of the road for me... Am I confused? or juz don't wanna face the reality? I juz wanna get over with all these problems rite now... every single things gets on my nerve. Keep tellin' myself that it's juz part of one's life.., but rite now, I don't think it's part of ones. Everythin' seems to be messed up and not in my way, not at all. When will it stop and be normal again? I juz don't know where to start to solve them. Shuttin' everythin' that comes in my way.
What is the meanin' of betrayed? To divulge in a breach of confidence, reavealin' a secret. That was what Iam feelin' now.. Yesterday was the hardest day for me to face... Feelin' betrayed from the person I love most, and care most. That was the last person I expected to betray me. Gave the person so much trust, which I know that I could do that. I was wrong bout' it.. Feelin' so down, and I can't even focus on what Iam suppose to do. Why would the person betray me? Should I confront the person? But if I confront, it may make things worse.. What am I suppose to do?The feelin' is so SHIT in me now... Seriously, that was the last person I expected. Trustin' so much... But I can't do anythin' now... Am I the person who easily gives trust to a person? But I've known the person for quite some time... Will I be able to trust the person again? I would love to trust in that person again, lovin' and care so much..but can I? Facin' so much of things now, includin' family issues.Damn it... Iam gonna let everythin' go...Losin' that person in my trust, I can't do anythin'. Iam juz pissed, coz' that person neva tell me when I asked, sayin' NO to me..but I found out yesterday.If that person wants my trust again, she will come back and tell me bout' everythin'.
Well, I juz finished my deferred paper today...and it was a bad day for me the day before.. I had to rush to my restaurant as the chef ran off, didn't tell us...was kinda pissed, and my parents was kinda stress...I had not enough time to study for the paper...but I tried my best...and the next semester gonna be tough for me as Iam overloadin' wit 5 units...and my housemate told me that, that's the recipe to fail...hahhaa....well, hopefully I can, coz' Iam not doin' it alone, but wit HIM..Anyway, Iam still waitin' for God's direction of what should I do next, in my life...in the comin' future..Perth of Sydney?Still confuse bout' lots of things..I wonder when will I get everythin' sorted...My feelings are still strong... but well for now, I juz wanna get myself busy, so I'll have no time for me to think bout' it..till then..It's Sunday...and not feelin' too good bout' every single thing..Don't even know where do I stand.. Why am I feelin' this way? It's been almost a month, and Iam still hangin' with it.. Is it coz' I still have somethin' left for that someone? I think it is...Everythin' juz stops here...How nice it is if time stops and stays the way it is...At that point of time, I feel so comfortable, feelin' so sure bout' everythin' when Iam with that person. When I see that person, everythin' around me doesn't matter, it's like everythin' so perfect...But now, Iam so tired of everythin', physically, mentally and spiritually...when is it gonna stop, and be myself again?When is it gonna happen?My love, my feelings, my care...all stays the same...
Baby won't you tell me why there is sadness in your eyesI don't wanna say goodbye to youLove is one big illusion I should try to forgetBut there is something left in my head
You're the one who set it up now you're the one to make it stopI'm the one who's feeling lost right nowNow you want me to forget every little thing you saidBut there is something left in my headI won't forget the way you're kissingThe feeling so strongWere lasting for so longBut I'm not the man your heart is missingThat's why you go away I know
You were never satisfied no matter how I triedNow you wanna say goodbye to meLove is one big illusion I should try to forgetBut there is something left in my head
I won't forget the way you're kissingThe feeling's so strongWere lasting for so longBut I'm not the man your heart is missingThat's why you go away I know
Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhereDon't know which way to goThere ain't so much to say now between usThere ain't so much for youThere ain't so much for me any
I won't forget the way you're kissingThe feeling's so strongWere lasting for so longBut I'm not the man your heart is missingThat's why you go away I know It seems the minutes,hours and days moves so slow to me nowadays..
It seems 2 minutes, like 2 hours..
It seems 2 hours, like 2 days.. [†β₤o0D†]
It seems 2 days, like 2 months..
It seems 2 months, like 2 years..But it seeems like 2 months, was so short..everythin' is still fresh in me..tryin' to get myself busy and very tired, so I would not think bout' it. How can I start a new life? Start fresh? I was juz thinkin' bout' movin' to Sydney end of this year, if my Sis is still there..at least when Iam with her, Iam happie...No worries... Whenever, I comes back home late at night, the memories are back to haunt me..What did I do, that I deserve all this? My history?My past? Karma?At times, if I know that all these things will happen...I would not even take the chance now, riskin' the friendship.. Can't anyone tell me what's goin' on? Well, I don't even know when will everythin' be normal for me..Have I decided or have I not? The famous phrase, "If you love a person, let the person go..If it's yours, the person will come back by your side" Is it true? Well, only time will tell..Till then
You are far
When I could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death
And from my heart
Strange that you were strong enough
To even make a start
You'll never find
Peace of mind
Till you listen to your heart
People
You can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will
For they willIf you let them
Steal your heart from you
People
Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew I loved you
We could have shown them all
We should have seen love through
Fooled me with the tears in your eyes
Covered me with kisses and lies
So bye
But please don't take my heart
You are far
I'm never gonna be your star
I'll pick up the pieces
To mend my heart
Strange that I was wrong enough
To think you'd love me too
You must have been kissing a fool
I said you must have been kissing a fool
But remember this
Every other kiss
That you'll ever give
Long as we both live
When you need the hand of another man
One you really can surrender with
I will wait for you like I always do
There's something there
That can't compare with any other
You are far
When I could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death
And from my heart
Strange that I was wrong enough
To think you'd love me too
You must have been kissing a fool
You must have been kissing a fool
You must have been kissing a fool
- m. buble - Sandra Kevin - Shoppin' Spree
It's juz amazing that somone like me will go for SHOPPING Therapy..! :)
Maybe that's what I deserved since there's so many things have been goin around me..IN and OUT!
But, try to think bout' it, the next day problems and worries comes back into my head..so when can I actually let everythin' go? How am I to feel bout' everythin'? Pains, Hurts? Can't even feel anything'..seems that its numb in me..all stagnant..not movin'.
Came across this quote, and is it that TRUE?
“I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do...I'm sorry I can't help myself, I'm in love with you.”
Its the best dream that I have ever dreamt. How I wish that all these things that I've dreamt will come true one day! It's so hard for me to juz leave everthin behind me. Maybe I juz don't wanna do it...Is it coz Iam juz too stuborn?Juz can't control the way I feel?Emotional?hmm...well I myself don't know.It seems everythin is normal..talkin and lookin at pictures..its all memories..When I wake up, I have to face the reality..But deep in me, hope that it will come again one day. God, please help me to get through this tough time. But then again, its the matter of time and patience, if it ever comes true.Memories are always there, and thinkin bout' it, at times, it hurts, and bring back my smile. All I wanna do and see, is the same smile I used to see, the happiest moment between 2 parties. Till then...
Juz checked my results...and I cleared all 3 papers, but I have 1 paper this Tuesday, as I deffered it. Didn't expect that I would clear 1 of the paper, coz it was tough for me when I was doin all the papers, and had so many issues in my life which was in my mind. But I guess, its God's grace...So juz another paper I have to hammer for this TUESDAY! and next semester would be 5 units...and off I go from Curtin.But I was juz thinkin bout my life juz then, where should I settle down after i Grad..Perth or Sydney...tho I really do love Perth...but when I went to Sydney, it seems like I wanna start a brand new life there, and leave all the problems I have in Perth... Iam really confuse with everythin in my life now....arghhh..!Do wanna share all these ups and downs with someone, but I know that I can neva do that again...all I can do now is juz to keep all those within myself..like how I did last time. Juz live my life each and everyday, but this time, together with HIM. †β₤o0D†
